Life on Oxbow

You shall be my squishy

2012-02-08T17:14:00.000-08:00

"I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy."-- Dory from Finding Nemo

I just want to squish these adorable boys!

It's been hard to keep Erik's face clean lately. Its always covered in dirt, food, snot, or a combination of all three.

Dorito lips. Not liking his picture being taken.

Let love be your intention

2012-02-07T11:13:00.000-08:00

I repeat this phrase in my head a lot. If LOVE is my intention, than the rest should be easy, right?

Turns out Erik has an ear infection too. I am so glad I took him to the doctor yesterday. I'm looking forward to them feeling better and behaving better. I just about shut down last night. I was tired of the talking back, whining and getting out of bed a half a dozen times. Pedar and I are fighting this virus too. It has attacked Pedar's sinuses and it has settled in my chest, I have a nice little cough brewing. My energy level is at 25 and my work level is at 100.

I will manage. I will get it done. I will smile and play nice with others. I will not lose my patience with my kids tonight. I will not snap at Pedar. I will be more loving and laugh more and be present.

Big boy bed

2012-02-06T13:04:00.000-08:00

We moved Erik's crib out of his room this weekend. We could have taken down the front rail and used it like a toddler bed, but we wanted to be able to cuddle with him, so he got a twin sized bed!

He loves his bed, but he is still not so sure about sleeping in it. It has taken him awhile for the past two nights to finally fall asleep. We found him sitting next to his bed at 9:15 p.m. Saturday night, not wanting to lay down in it. Last night he left his bed three times and crawled up into Casey's. Argh. We'll get there. Both kids were asleep by 9:30 p.m. last night. We're moving in the right direction.

Sleeping angel. I ordered an upholstered headboard for Erik. We had to put a body pillow against the wall because he kept hitting his head. Last night I got him a comforter and bedskirt. His room is coming together. I need to update Casey's room a bit too.

Casey loves Erik's new bed too!

Both Casey and Erik have been fighting a nasty virus all week and weekend. I took them to the doctor on Friday. Casey had an ear infection and upper respiratory infection. Erik's ears looked good Friday. Throughout the weekend Casey has gotten better and Erik got worse. His cough is worse and now he told me yesterday that his ear hurts! Off we go again to the doc this afternoon!!

I had to give Erik a nebulizer "dragon mask" treatment this morning. He wasn't thrilled.

I pray the boys and Pedar and I can kick this damn virus out very soon! I want a healthy family!!

Hope you all are staying healthy and happy!

Barbara Wallis Ryken

2012-02-02T11:00:00.000-08:00

Last night my sweet Aunt Barbara died. The news that the cancer had spread was received just a few weeks ago.

She fought valiantly to live. She loved her family something fierce. She was married for over 40 years to my Uncle Steve, had two children, Bill (Kathleen) and Stephanie (David) and four grandchildren, Cole, Ashley, Dustin and Lukas.

My cousin Stephanie and I are only a few months apart in age, so we had a blast as cousins growing up. Steph and I in 2009 at Uncle Steve's 60th!

My Aunt Barbara was married to my Mom's brother Stephen. She embraced his huge Ryken family and loved all of her sisters/brothers/nieces and nephews.

She also leaves behind her father, Ted, sisters Mary, Sue and brother Tom, several nieces, nephews and wonderful friends and family.

Aunt Barbara's beautiful family!

My Aunt Barbara was very soft spoken. She listened intently, hugged long and had a powerful knack at making you feel special and loved. She always had her camera readily available.

When I was 12-years-old my parents separated for a while. My Dad was living in the Bay Area and my Mom and sisters were in Sacramento. We were visiting Aunt Barbara and Uncle Steve. I remember driving somewhere in my Aunt's big station wagon. She was asking me how I was doing and I was relaying some of the negative comments I had been hearing about Dad. My Dad was working on getting sober so my parents were separated. I remember my Aunt Barbara listening to me and in her quiet beautiful voice say something like, "Just remember that your Dad loves you and he loves your Mom. That's all that matters." I remember feeling immediately better about my parents’ situation. I remember feeling hopeful and loved and more positive than I had in a long time.

My Aunt Barbara exemplified love. She loved her man. She was passionate and romantic towards him and was open about her feelings. She was also so proud of her man. I loved seeing how caring and loving they were to each other.

I am going to continue the legacy of my Aunt Barbara by trying to embody those traits that I admired so much. I am going to listen more intently, take a ton of pictures, hug longer, kiss longer, say less, be crazy proud of my man and family and love unconditionally.

Goodbye, Aunt Barbara. I am so glad you are no longer in pain. I am going to picture you as an angel watching over your beautiful family. Until we meet again, I love you.

Terrific Tuesday!

2012-01-31T12:13:00.000-08:00

Have I posted this picture before? If I have, please forgive me. I just can't stand how cute this picture is! I was getting ready and Casey carried Erik down the hallway to me. Casey said, "Erik wanted to be held, so I picked him up!" So stinking cute!!

Casey and Erik made monsters for me on Friday night. I was at a work event till late and they were missing me. I got home after 9 p.m. and they jumped out of their beds to greet me and I had missed them so we snuggled on the couch and stayed up late. I love Friday's!

On Saturday we went on a gorgeous hike in Folsom.

Pedar is so hunky.

Erik fell asleep Saturday on the couch. So sweet.

Erik and I played on our skateboards Sunday.

I'm slowly but surely learning how to ride!

We were at a friends house for dinner and Erik made himself a little too comfortable!

Erik and I cleaned the house yesterday while Casey rested, sneezed and coughed. I have been meaning to clean under my bed for many moons, so yesterday was the day! It was gross! I lifted and moved every darn piece of furniture in that room and cleaned.

When Erik and I were done with my bedroom we cleaned the fireplace and his room. We posted and already sold his glider/rocking chair on craigslist. Erik is getting a twin-sized bed in the next few weeks so we have to make room. Erik is excited about cuddling at night with us in his big boy bed.

I've been giving away a lot of our baby items like the jogger, high-chair, clothes and toys. At first I was sad, I was feeling a bit of remorse about stopping the baby-train, but I feel more at peace now. Pedar and I are working on our financial goals and once we have some peace around that, we can start making more fun lists like vacations, travel and house projects.

Life is good. Hope you are feeling hopeful and loved too!

Coughing, coughing, coughing

2012-01-30T09:01:00.000-08:00

I am home with Casey today because he coughed all night long. Poor kid sneezes all day and coughs all night. I had to keep Erik home too, because I had to, right? We have had breakfast and are now watching a movie. I wish Casey felt better, but I love being cozy wozy with him all day.

I don't think I ever posted pictures from our trip to Six Flags, Discovery Kingdom. We went on Dec. 29 with Bridget, Chuck, Liam and Lila. We ran into cousins and a ton of Mission Ave. families. We had a terrific day and look forward to spending more time at this awesome park.

We made it for most of the day and then Erik and Lila passed out. The drive is just a little over an hour. Short drive to a super fun place = we will be back!

This is the dolphin tank.

Watching the killer whale show.

These kids love each other!!

Casey didn't want to stop to eat! He just wanted to keep going and going and going!

Add caption

Isn't this little fox adorable?!

We ran into the Annear family (cousins!) at the park!

The shark tunnel was cool!

This fish just stayed at the glass checking everyone out. Erik was trying to show him the way out with his map!

Precious!!

Happy Friday!

2012-01-27T12:00:00.001-08:00

Moment Junkie

2012-01-26T13:47:00.000-08:00

Oh No! I just found this amazing website, Moment Junkie, of great photography shots.

http://www.momentjunkie.com/

What do you value?

2012-01-26T13:16:00.000-08:00

I have several friends who are currently either seperated or divorcing. As my sister Margery once told me, "No one really knows the inside of someone's relationship, except the two living it, so don't form an opinion, just offer a hug, a casserole and a listening/non-judgemental ear."

It is hard to watch my friends go through heartache and financial chaos. I think the hardest part is hearing the regret. A dear friend of mine told me recently what she wished someone had said to her before she got married, "Couples really need to talk about shared values. You can make yourself believe the person will adjust/change, but most of us stick to our core beliefs and the older we get, the more likely we are not going to change our behavior."

We can make all kinds of excuses/justification/bull-shit in our heads about why our partner doesn't help/work/clean/socialize/pray/be more affectionate/be more active/eat better/spend less-- but believing that their behavior is going to change (when they... get a better job/stop drinking/have kids/get married/get happier), begins the countdown to relationship destruction.

Pedar and I went to marriage counseling before we got married. We talked a lot about our personal values and how we wanted our relationship to work. I knew I wanted an equal partner. I wanted someone to work with me equally on finances, housework and family. I didn't have a stay-at-home working Mom growing up, but I saw her doing FAR too much after she got off work. I wanted a man that prayed with me, danced with me, laughed with me and if I asked for help, wouldn't put me off, would help me, no questions asked.

I also knew I wanted someone that wanted to travel and be adventurous with me. I wanted someone that would play outdoors with me. I wanted someone affectionate and generous with his talent and skills. I wanted someone that was willing to lend a hand to a neighbor or friend. I wanted someone that could create relationships on their own. That was really important to me. I wanted someone that was patient and kind to my parents and family. I wanted my husband to love my family as much as he loves his own.

The hardest part about watching someones marriage dissolve is knowing that in the beginning there was so much hope. In the beginning they probably helped each other more. They spent more time together doing things, and less time doing their own thing. They probably were more affectionate and supported one another. They probably talked about expenses and made financial plans, they checked in with one another. What happens to make someone stop trying?

I don't think that a marriage ever has to become less loving, less helpful and less fun. I hate the destruction that divorce brings, but I am proud of my friends and family that have the courage to say,"I want more than this. I deserve more than this."

As in most things, the clearer we are about what we want and need, the better chance we have at getting it.

“It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”-- J.K. Rowling
“Power is the ability to do good things for others.”-- Brooke Astor

Awesome morning

2012-01-24T12:28:00.000-08:00

This morning Pedar left the house early to go skiing. Last night he made sure to set the coffee pot so I would have the energy needed to get everyone ready. Before he left he also made cheesy eggs for the kids. Pedar has been anxiously waiting to go skiing. I am happy knowing that Pedar is out doing what he loves most. I can almost see his huge smile from Alpine!

Getting everyone ready and out the door in time isn't easy for me. My neighbor had asked last night if I could take his son to school today too, what's one more kid, right? Sure thing, bring him on over. So, at 7:20 a.m. I added one more kid to my house-of-crazy. I didn't even see my neighbor. I was busy wrestling clothes on Erik.

I fed everyone breakfast, loaded them in the car and arrived at school with ten minutes to spare! I took Erik to school, held him for a little bit (he got a little weepy--he missed Daddy this morning!) and then I headed in to work. If I can get a few things off my plate today, I will consider today a HUGE SUCCESS!

I know it’s not an amazing accomplishment to get two kids ready for school, but some mornings (OK-- a lot of mornings) I just want to get ready without breaking up a fight and yelling, "Put on your shoes and brush your teeth, already!"

We've been pretty busy at work lately. I've fallen off the "working-out-at-lunch" wagon. I need to hop back on some kind of work-out wagon, and fast.

Small changes end up becoming Big changes

Oh, I have to share the sweetest thing ever!! Last night, Casey read two stories to Erik. He used great inflection and was very patient with Erik's questions. Pedar and I are so proud of Casey.

Hope you have a great day!

Ferni and Curly

2012-01-21T14:54:00.000-08:00

Last night we made a fire and watched a movie. I made chocolate chip cookies and opened a nice bottle of red wine. It was the perfect ending to a yucky week!

This afternoon Aunt Dagny and Ferni came over to visit for a bit. Ferni is getting bigger and cuter!!

Curly and Ferni got along really well.

Ferni the wonder dog!

Mor-Mor loves her grand-fur-children the same!

Sprung

2012-01-19T22:39:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday my Dad was told at his doctor's appointment to go to the Emergency Room. His heart was going crazy. He went and he ended up spending two nights and three days in the hospital. Today he went to the doctor and the lab and he got a call at 5:30 to go to the ER again. He didn't want to go.

I received a very upset call from my Mom at 5:45p.m.

"Nora, they want your Dad to go to the ER and he doesn't want to go. He said he has an appt tomorrow and can wait," says a very upset Mom.

"Put him on the phone Mom," said a very bossy Nora.

"I'm not going. I don't want to go!" said Dad.

"Dad, you might not have to stay the night again. You are going, now," said bossy Nora.

They go. I get home, hug some boys and one super-hunky-man who has picked up Casey at 1:20 p.m., worked from home, picked up Erik at 4 p.m. and made a delicious dinner! I love PEDAR!! I wolf down amazing dinner, make lunches for kids for tomorrow and leave house to meet parents at Mercy General Hospital.

Mom said Dad was slurring and moving REALLY slow all day. His sodium and potassium levels we were told were way too low. His meds are off. They take more blood, more waiting, more listening to lungs and heart, but finally they let him loose. He is SPRUNG from the ER and the look on his face is beautiful. Tomorrow they will schedule to "re-set" his heart. I don't understand this very well.

We realize that Nana is too busy being a taxi to all Dad's medical appointments. I keep getting these frantic calls that she can't pick up the boys and it makes a busy work day a bit more stressful because now I'm trying to leave work early or coordinate someone to get boys. Nana's awesome after school care for boys needs to pause for awhile. We're sad to break the news to Casey, but we are relieved that Discovery Club has a space for him. Maybe things will settle down and Nana can take care of boys again in a bit. I really hope so.

I drove home tonight and five minutes after I got in the door my Dad called to tell me they got home safe. Pedar picked up the phone.

"Hey Ken, glad you got to go home," said Pedar.

I whispered to Pedar, "Tell him you love him! It will make him so uncomfortable!"

"I love you, Ken," said Pedar.

Awkward silence.

I grabbed the phone. "I told Pedar to say that, Dad. I knew it would make you uncomfortable and I needed a laugh!"

"I love Pedar," said my Dad. "But I love you more!" he said laughing a little bit.

"I know Dad," I said. "I know."

7 Baby Steps

2012-01-17T21:37:00.000-08:00

I've been reading Dave Ramsey's website a lot lately. I think his 7 baby steps are very helpful. I didn't even have to buy a book to read his words of wisdom. Free is great!

We really try to stay out of debt, keep a decent savings, put money in our retirement accounts and put money aside for the kids college accounts, but it doesn't always happen. We talk a lot about the day we are not paying big daycare fees once Erik is in school, but we are over two years away. We need to feel more in control than we do. We need to pay off the truck and build a nest egg and then really work on retirement and college. We've been trying to do it all and its been like throwing pennies, it will never amount to much.

Baby Step 1

$1,000 Emergency Fund

An emergency fund is for those unexpected events in life that you can’t plan for: the loss of a job, an unexpected pregnancy, a faulty car transmission, and the list goes on and on. It’s not a matter of if these events will happen; it’s simply a matter of when they will happen.

This beginning emergency fund will keep life’s little Murphies from turning into new debt while you work off the old debt. If a real emergency happens, you can handle it with your emergency fund. No more borrowing. It’s time to break the cycle of debt!

Baby Step 2

Pay off all debt using the Debt Snowball

List your debts, excluding the house, in order. The smallest balance should be your number one priority. Don’t worry about interest rates unless two debts have similar payoffs. If that’s the case, then list the higher interest rate debt first.

The point of the debt snowball is simply this: You need some quick wins in order to stay pumped up about getting out of debt! Paying off debt is not always about math. It’s about motivation. Personal finance is 20% head knowledge and 80% behavior. When you start knocking off the easier debts, you will see results and you will stay motivated to dump your debt.

Baby Step 3

3 to 6 months of expenses in savings

Once you complete the firsttwo baby steps, you will have built serious momentum. But don’t start throwingall your “extra” money into investments quite yet. It’s time to build your full emergency fund. Ask yourself, “Whatwould it take for me to live for three to six months if I lost my income?” Youranswer to that question is how much youshould save.

Use this money for emergencies only: incidents that would have a major impacton you and your family. Keep these savings in a money market account. Remember,this stash of money is not an investment; it is insuranceyou’re paying to yourself, a buffer between you and life.

Baby Step 4

Invest 15% of household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement

When you reach this step, you’ll have nopayments—except the house—and a fully funded emergency fund. Now it’s time toget serious about building wealth.

Dave suggests investing 15% of your household income into Roth IRAs and pre-taxretirement plans. Don’t invest more than that because the extra money will helpyou complete the next two steps: college savings and paying off your homeearly.

Why shouldn’t you invest less than 15%? Some people choose to invest a smallamount, if anything, because they want to get a child through school or pay offthe home in a hurry. But the kids’ degrees won’t feed you at retirement, and ifyou throw all your money into your mortgage at this point, you’ll end up havingto sell the house and buy the book 72 Ways to Prepare Alpo and Love It.Bad plan.

Baby Step 5

College funding for children

By this point, you should have already started Baby Step 4—investing 15% of your income—before saving for college. Whether you are saving for you or your child to go to college, you need to start now.

In order to have enough money saved for college, you need to have a goal. Determine how much per month you should be saving at 12% interest in order to have enough for college. If you save at 12% and inflation is at 4%, then you are moving ahead of inflation at a net of 8% per year!

Never save for college using:

Insurance
Savings bonds (only 5-6% growth)
Zero-coupon bonds. (only 6-8% growth)
Pre-paid college tuition (only 7% inflation rate)

The best way to save for college is with Education Savings Accounts (ESAs) and 529 plans. Remember, college is possible without loans!

Baby Step 6

Pay off your house early

Now it’s time to begin chunking all of your extra money toward the mortgage. You are getting closer to realizing the dream of a life with no house payments.

As you attack this last debt, you will gain momentum much like you did back in the second step of the debt snowball. Remember, having absolutely no payments is totally within your reach!

Baby Step 7

Build wealth and give!

It’s time to build wealth and give like never before. Leave an inheritance for future generations, and bless others now with your excess. It's really the only way to live!

Golda Meir says, “You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.” Vow to never hold your money so tightly that you never give any away. Hoarding money is not the way to wealth. Save for yourself, save for your family’s future, and be gracious enough to bless others. You can do all three at the same time.

Everything is practice

2012-01-17T15:41:00.000-08:00

Life as a Conscious Practice

‘Everything is practice.’ ~Pele

Post written by Leo Babauta.

When we learn a martial art, or ballet, or gymnastics, or soccer … we consciously practice movements in a deliberate way, repeatedly. By conscious, repeated practice, we become good at those movements.

Our entire lives are like this, but we’re often less conscious of the practice.

Each day, we repeat movements, thought patterns, ways of interacting with others … and in this repeated practice, we are becoming (or have already become) good at these things. If you constantly check Facebook or Twitter, that is practice, and you are forming that habit, though it’s usually not with too much awareness.

When you smoke, or eat junk food, or speak rudely to others, or put yourself down internally, this is something you are practicing to be good at. You may already be good at these things.

What if, instead, we practiced consciously, deliberately, and became good at the things we really want to be good at?

What if you first, above all skills, learned to be more aware of what you are practicing? What if constant conscious action is the skill you became good at?

If you could learn to take conscious action, you could learn to practice other things you want to be good at, rather than the ones you don’t.

What Are You Practicing?

Ask yourself these things throughout the day, to practice conscious action:

•Do I want to practice rushing through my morning, or can I wake a little earlier and simplify my morning routine so that I practice a slow, enjoyable morning ritual?

•Do I want to practice checking my inboxes when I first get to my computer, or can I do something better?

•Do I want to practice leaving dirty dishes out, or can I practice washing my bowl when I’m done with it?

•Do I want to practice leaving clothes strewn about, or papers lying on the counter, or can I take a few seconds to put them where they belong?

•Do I want to speak angrily to my kids or spouse, or can I speak to them with kindness and compassion?

•Do I want to practice complaining and self-pity, or can I practice gratitude?

•Do I want to practice rushing and being busy, or can I practice simplifying and going slowly?

•Do I want to practice eating fried foods, sugary foods, salty junk food snacks, fast foods … or can I practice eating whole foods, vegetables and fruits, nuts and beans and seeds?

•Do I want to practice surfing time-wasting sites, or can I practice clearing away distractions and creating?

•Do I want to practice watching mindless entertainment, or can I practice moving my body and exerting myself in activity?

•Do I want to practice smoking, or can I learn a healthier way to deal with stress?

•Do I want to practice shopping, or can I practice giving?

These are only examples … your life will show you what you’ve been practicing, and you can decide what you might rather practice instead. Or you might be completely happy with what you’ve been practicing.

Some ideas for creative practice from Ali Edwards.

How to Practice

The first step is always awareness. When you are conscious of what you are doing, you can decide whether this is an action or thought pattern you want to practice, or if there’s an alternative you’d rather be good at.

As you go through your day, practice this awareness. It’s the first skill, and it’s the most important one. Be aware, without feeling guilty or angry at yourself, of what you’re doing and thinking. You will forget to to this, but remind yourself. You might wear a rubber band around your wrist, or carry a talisman, or make tally marks on a slip of paper each time you remember.

As you get good at conscious action, start to practice those actions and thought patterns you want to be good at. Start to notice the ones you’d really rather not be good at, and see if you can deliberately practice other actions and thought patterns.

As you consciously, deliberately repeat these things, you’ll get better at them. It takes a lot of repetition to get good at a skill, but you’ve got time.

Important Conclusions

You won’t be able to change all your habits at once, and I’m not implying that you should try. The habit you’re really changing is consciousness, and practice. Other habits will be difficult to change, especially if you’re trying to change all of them, but it’s OK if you mess up. Give yourself permission to make mistakes without guilt, and instead just deliberately practice again, and again.

If something is too hard, and you can’t get it right no matter how many times you practice, you can try it in smaller steps. If you can’t quit smoking, try not smoking once, and instead relieving stress through walking or doing some pushups or meditation or self-massage. If you can’t quit junk food, just replace one snack with a fruit, or add a tasty veggie to your dinner.

I’d like to emphasize that this isn’t about perfection. There is no perfect way of life, and you don’t need to strive to be perfect every moment of the day. I believe you’re already perfect. This is just about conscious action, which is a useful skill to have.

Remember that we become good at what we repeatedly do, and what we do repeatedly can be done consciously. It’s when we’re conscious that we are truly alive.

‘If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.’ ~Dalai Lama

Change and prayers

2012-01-16T18:10:00.000-08:00

This weekend we helped our dear friend Melanie move into a beautiful new home. Please pray for Melanie, Jim and Jacob so they can adjust well through these changes.

My Aunt Barbara was told her breast cancer is terminal. The cancer has spread to her liver. I am angry and sad that this awful disease is taking her from the loves of her life, Stephen, and her children and grandchildren. Please pray for Barbara, Stephen, Bill and Stephanie.

My Dad spent two nights in the hospital this week, complications from his pulmonary fibrosis which has now caused pulmonary hypertension. He is home and hopefully mending and getting better. Please pray for Kenneth and my Mom (Chris). I pray that my Dad's health improves. I pray he can have a higher quality of life than what he has been experiencing these past few months.

When I was little we would put some money into a box at church and light a candle for someone we were praying for. I am lighting a ton of candles tonight!!

Much love to you all!

What's the word, mockingbird?

2012-01-12T09:56:00.000-08:00

Lately some of my favorite bloggers Kelle and Karen have written about choosing one word to focus on for 2012.

Abundance

I want Abundance in 2012. I want more of all things good. I want more fun, more money, more travel, more passion, more creativity, more beauty and more LOVE. Yep, I want it and I'm gonna get it.

This year is already so much better than last year. Last year, almost to the very day, I was told I may be out of a job in 90 days.

Today I am in a new job and it is the BEST job I have ever had, hands down. Every job has led me to this one and I am so grateful. I have been in this job for less than four months and I feel more challenged and productive than I have in years. And don't even get me started on the people at this job! I am so darn lucky. I have made amazing friendships in my short time here. I really do look forward to getting up and going to work! How many people can really say that? And!!! And!! I am exercising at lunch, something I have always wanted to do and I am doing it!! Pedar has been working out at lunch for over a year now and now I have embraced the same beautiful routine and I can't tell you how wonderful it feels.

Want to know something else I am excited about?? Tomorrow morning I leave for an overnight in Napa to attend the Leadership Sacramento retreat. I applied several months ago and found out that I was accepted a bit before Thanksgiving.
Leadership Sacramento, is a program of the Sacramento Metro Chamber, which develops community-minded business and civic leadership. It is a year-long interactive program, limited to 35 participants each year, that provides a behind-the-scenes understanding of the issues that impact the region's economic prosperity, quality of life and culminates in the completion of a community betterment project.

I think I am most excited about meeting the other participants this weekend and choosing our year-long project!!

I have so much to be excited about. Life is SO good!!

Unconditional Love

2012-01-11T08:56:00.000-08:00

(I had to share this post written by Kristen Wolfe. This story of an older brother's unconditional love for his little brother brought me to tears.)

Dear Customer Who Stuck Up For His Little Brother:

You thought I didn't really notice. But I did. I wanted to high-five you.

Yesterday I had a pair of brothers in my store. One was maybe between 15 and 17. He was a wrestler at the local high school. Kind of tall, stocky and handsome. He had a younger brother, who was maybe about 10 to 12 years old. The only way to describe him was scrawny, neat, and very clean for a boy his age. They were talking about finding a game for the younger one, and he was absolutely insisting it be one with a female character. I don't know how many of y'all play games, but that isn't exactly easy.

Eventually, I helped the brothers pick a game called "Mirror's Edge." The youngest was pretty excited about the game, and then he specifically asked me, "Do you have any girl color controllers?" I directed him to the only colored controllers we have, which include pink and purple ones. He grabbed the purple one, and informed me purple was his FAVORITE.

The boys had been taking awhile, so their father eventually came in. He saw the game, and the controller, and started in on the youngest about how he needs to pick something different. Something more manly. Something with guns and fighting, and certainly not a purple controller. He tried to convince him to get the new Zombie game "Dead Island" and the little boy just stood there repeating, "Dad, this is what I want, OK?" Eventually it turned into a full-blown argument complete with Dad threatening to whoop his son if he didn't choose different items.

That's when big brother stepped in. He said to his dad, "It's my money, it's my gift to him. If it's what he wants, I'm getting it for him, and if you're going to hit anyone for it, it's going to be me." Dad just gave his oldest son a strong stern stare-down, and then left the store. Little brother was crying quietly. I walked over and ruffled his hair (yes, this happened all in front of me). I said, "I'm a girl, and I like the color blue, and I like shooting games. There's nothing wrong with what you like. Even if it's different than what people think you should." I smiled, he smiled back (my heart melted!). Big brother then leaned down, kissed little brother on the head, and said, "Don't worry, dude."

They checked out and left, and all I can think is how awesome big brother is, how sweet little brother is, and how Dad ought to be ashamed for trying to make his son any other way.

This piece was originally published on Kristen's blog.

Monday was a doozy

2012-01-10T11:23:00.000-08:00

Maybe it is the crazy huge full (a.k.a fool) moon, but yesterday was a doozy. Not even my lunch hour makeout session with weight machines helped me. Nothing went right, communication was screwy and my workload seemed to double with each meeting. Just incase you were wondering I had three meetings yesterday a 10 a.m.,11 a.m. and a 2 p.m. I finally got home, slowed down a bit and started to feel better.

Casey LOVES his cowboy boots!!

We took Casey to get some new kicks because the two pairs of shoes that we were going to return and get new ones were taken out of Pedar's truck back in October. Casey starts baseball camp at CSUS tonight and he needed closed-toe shoes. He almost never takes his cute cowboy boots off that his Nana and Pop-Pop got him and although I think baseball in cowboy boots is super adorable, we need to take care of his ankles. Casey is now wearing a 4 1/2 shoe. He really is only in a 4, but I have to buy them a 1/2 size big or I would be shopping all the darn time.Yes folks, my son has HUGE feets. He has been eating a ton more lately and sleeping harder too. Pedar and I can only guess how tall this boy is going to be. He is so darn precious!

I love this artwork. I love this entire website. I am inspired to make my house more beautiful!! Get to work, Nora! Get to work!

Craftastic

2012-01-08T21:28:00.000-08:00

I was feeling crafty this week so Erik and I took a trip to Joann's and bought some felt hearts. I joined them with some twine and starting hanging happy-love banners all over our house! The house felt a little plain after taking down Christmas. It feels festive again with the happy hearts everywhere!


Pedar spent some of Saturday at Urgent Care getting tested for Strep. Yep, he had it. Fortunately he now has medication and is on the mend. I'm praying that Erik and I don't get it again. I'm hoping Casey doesn't get it either. He's managed to stay healthy amongst the rest of us sickies.

Even with Strep, Pedar managed to change the brakes on his truck and help me with a ton of chores. I just adore him something fierce!! On Saturday evening we celebrated sweet Melanie's Birthday with our super awesome neighbors.

On Sunday, Pedar organized the garage. It looks so awesome!! Our neighbor gave us great shelves. Later in the afternoon we went to an Epiphany Party. We were invited by Pastor Herman from Carmichael Presbyterian. We've been attending lately and have been so happy with the warm welcome we have received!! Several families, including two of the Pastor's, have kids that attend Mission Avenue. The people we have met have been so kind and down to earth. We are very excited about getting to know these great people better and hanging out at Carmichael Presbyterian a lot more. For the first time in awhile, we feel a part of a Church community again and it feels good.

Casey made this awesome "Man in a raincoat with umbrella in a rainstorm" recently. It is so cool how he propped the guy up and showed the rain falling down behind the man. I love my little artist. He is so cool. I think Casey wants to play in the rain!! I hope it rains soon too. This warm weather is a little weird for January. Poor Pedar would like to ski soon. Please Mother Nature, let it rain soon!

The boys decided after bath tonight to be ninja-pull-up-heads. They were hilarious!

Crazy adorable pull-up-heads!

We hope you have a great Monday!

Trip down memory lane...

2012-01-08T13:56:00.000-08:00

These videos are over a year old. Man, my boys are getting big.

Keeping it real

2012-01-06T09:57:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness it was a 4 day work/school week because it was a bit rough going, I'm not going to sugarcoat it.

Erik has fought bedtime every single night.

Just as Erik is about to finally calm down and go to sleep, Casey yells from his bedroom, "Mom? Dad?" It drives me crazy and I yell at him from the kitchen, "SHHH!!!! Go to sleep!" That is when Erik starts crying and yelling for Mama, again, for 40+ minutes!! AHHHH!!!!

Erik fights waking up and getting dressed every single morning.

Erik had a hard time with drop-off at Montessori all week. He was extra clingy. Made it a harder morning for Pedar.

Casey moves really slow in the morning and he will barely eat anything. We throw away so much food and it drives Pedar and I crazy.

Casey fights doing his homework. He becomes so dramatic and flops around saying, "I don't get it! I can't do it!" Drives me crazy. Just move your pencil as fast as you humanly can and get it done already!! AHH!!!

Casey has forgotten that he needs to take his lunch out of his backpack, tidy his room and hang-up his coat everyday! Sometimes when I go into Casey's room and his pajamas are still up in his bed from the morning and his backpack is not hanging on the back of his chair and his lunch is still in his backpack...I yell this, "There are seven-year-olds that speak 3 languages and play concert cello, I am raising my expectations of you right now! You can do what little I ask of you!!" Yes, these words come out of my mouth almost weekly. Last night we had to take the kids on a walk after dinner because they were bouncing off the damn walls. I walked into Casey's room and saw the wreckage and almost said exactly what my Dad would say to me, "Hurricane hit your room?!" But I didn't. When we got back from the walk I checked the "hanging jackets", Casey likes to pile them on shelf in his closet rather than hang them. Argh! He hadn't zipped up the jacket before he hung it so 2 out of the 3 jackets had fallen on the floor. I felt a bit like Mommy Dearest when I made him do it again. And then before bath Casey was going to the bathroom and his new terrible habit is to drop the lid so it slams on the toilet. Every morning I'm getting ready and I hear this SLAM! Last night he did it and something inside of me snapped. Who am I kidding, I was already so damn annoyed with the entire evening and everyone within ten feet of me. I stormed into the bathroom and said to Casey, "Pick up the seat, put it down gently, NOW!" He did it. I made him repeat this action about 6 times. This morning he didn't drop the seat. Sometimes I say to Pedar, "Our kids need to fear us a little more!" I don't want to be their friend, I want to be their Mom. I want to raise polite and responsible men and God as my witness I will!

We are trying to potty train Erik and he is not interested. We are trying to have him sit on the toilet, several times a day, at the same time of the day to get him used to the toilet. Any tips?

We need to get rid of the binky this month. Not looking forward to it, but I know we need to do it.

My kitchen and bathrooms are yucky. Want to hire a house cleaner to clean the shower/bathtub and floors for me. Oh and dusting! I'll drink a pot of coffee and get it done this weekend. Ugh.

Here's to a good weekend. Need to stick to our routine so we have an easier time of it next week.

Clap your hands!

2012-01-05T09:55:00.000-08:00

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! Make it a great day. Be happy. Find your happy. Smile at others. If you can't smile, take care of it so you can. Add to the happiness of the world.

Make smiling your favorite!

Taking care of me

2012-01-04T09:02:00.000-08:00

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live.-- Jim Rohn

Went to the gym yesterday, again. I hurt today, but in all the right places. I'm hitting the gym with my co-workers and they have been going for awhile now, so when they told me we would be doing these "throw-down's", I didn't know what they meant.

What they meant was they were going to hurt me.

What we did was lie on the floor on our backs and held the ankles of the person standing behind our head. Next we had to point our toes, put our legs together and try and kick the person standing behind, but once you got close to them they would push/throw your feet back to the ground. Try 25 reps/3 times = ouch. I may have stomach muscles again if I keep this up! YES!!!!!

Goals for 2012

2012-01-03T11:02:00.000-08:00

I believe in To-Do lists. I have noticed that when I write it down, I am more likely to get it done. I also believe that small changes, eventually make big changes. I know a lot of my family and friends become overwhelmed by big projects.

I try to do a little bit everyday so I don't feel overwhelmed. I clean a little bit everyday. I donate/purge a little bit every week. If I bring in something to my house, something has to go out!

Each January, after the boys Birthday's and Christmas, I feel a bit panicky with all the stuff that has come in, but I am taking it in stride this year. The boys are learning that if we don't have a place for it to be put away, and if they haven't touched in over 6 months, we are going to keep it moving so someone else can enjoy it.

Pedar and I started talking last night about our goals for 2012. We have personal, career, travel, family and financial goals.

1. Pay off credit card.
2. Pay off truck. Before we can take on a house project, I need to know we are financially safe. Yes, I want to get the trees trimmed, update our kitchen, pour a new driveway, remodel our bathroom, purchase shutters for the bedrooms, relandscape the front yard, build a patio cover, build a shop in the backyard, organize the garage, buy a new front and back door, etc. It doesn't make sense to not take care of our debt first. I cannot feel good about purchases unless we are out of the red.
3. Disneyland in April. This may be the exception to the credit and truck. It has been four years since we have taken Casey and we are going this April.
4. Be more creative.
5. Exercise more. Go to the gym more. Do lunges and squats and sit-ups whenever we can.
6. Serve others. We need to get the kids involved. We need to help our friends, neighbors and community whenever we can.
7. Dance more. Sing more. Play more with camera. Learn how to actually use the camera!
8. Plan annual campling trip.
9. Nora and Casey to ski a lot more this year.
10. Be the best we can be to our employers, friends, family and neighbors.

Hoyt Trail along the South Yuba River

2012-01-02T11:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we drove past Nevada City to the South Yuba River and hiked the Hoyt Trail. We were all wearing jeans and long sleeve shirts and we were HOT!

It was about 70 degrees yesterday.

If the water hadn't been so cold, I think we would have jumped in to cool off. We threw rocks, splashed a bit and tried to find gold. We rock climbed with Casey and watched Erik create slides out of the smooth granite rock. It felt so good to hang out on the rocks and soak up the sun like lizards.

Need to get Casey better shoes for hiking. Converse don't grip very well, so Casey had to hold on to me for support.

The kids were excellent hikers. The trail going down to the river was very steep and narrow and we were so proud of their tenacity and patience.

Each boy has a different hair color! So beautiful!

We always bring chocolate on hikes. It makes the destination that much sweeter! A chocolate kiss for my little sweetie!

We were pretending to be lizards on a rock!

I love my boys so much. I am so grateful to be their Mom and introduce them to so many wonderful things!! I hope some day they bring their friends and maybe even girlfriends on this hike!

After our hike and after we hung out on the bridge for awhile, we drove to the adorable main street of Nevada City and enjoyed a beer and snacks.

We chatted with super friendly folks and then walked up and down the adorable street and peered into the shops. There is an adorable shop called Grey Goose that had super cute clothes. I must head back without children soon and enjoy some shopping!

Pedar found this #7 potato for Casey!! We all said that Gigi brought this potato to us for a giggle!

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T10:05:00.000-08:00

Hope 2012 is AWESOME for you! We had a fun time last night with old friends and their adorable kids, Mason (5) and Ellie (2). We even managed to stay awake till midnight, all four kids did too!! We're leaving to go on a hike now and later we will probably be doing more of roller-coaster loving! Hope you have a terrific New Years Day!!!

Happy Birthday, Pop-Pop Jim!

2011-12-30T19:54:00.000-08:00

Today (12/31) is Pop-Pop Jim's -- Pedar's Dad's Birthday! We are taking him out to breakfast in the morning to help him start off his special day.

We love you, Pop-Pop. We hope you have an incredible year of love, good health and maybe more excellent travel with your beautiful wife.

Happy Birthday, Jim! Happy Birthday, Dad! Happy Birthday, Pop-Pop!! We love you!

Gugga is 3

2011-12-29T20:16:00.000-08:00

12/30/2011

Happy Birthday, Erik. We can't believe you are three-years-old today. I want to write down a little bit of information about who you are at this very moment, so we can remember you at this precious age.

Dear Erik,

Today you are three-years-old. You are just 30 pounds. You love your binky and your mi-mi (lamby blanket). This year we will help you "let-go" of your binky and move out of your crib into a big boy bed. You've only crawled out of your crib once, you sleep so beautifully. You are doing great with going #1 in the toilet, but you're not doing so great with #2. You like to hide behind chairs and yell at us to "go away" when you're doing your business. We hope to get you completely potty-trained in the next few months.

Erik, you love Casey so much!

You love Thomas the Train right now, helicopters and music. Your current favorite song is, "Moves like Jagger" and you're a pretty great eater. You love hummus and apples and cheese and crackers. You like to stay up late and sleep-in, just like your Mama. You love your new scooter. You're funny and you like to laugh. You're doing great at preschool. You had a hard time the first two weeks of school, you cried a lot at drop-off, but now you run to your classroom and it makes Daddy and I so happy.

Erik we all love you so much. We cannot remember a time when you were not a part of our family.

I asked Casey if he wanted me to write something in this letter to you and he wanted to tell you this, "Sometimes when I'm at school, I wish Erik was sitting next to me in class so he could be my buddy. Erik is funny, I almost think he is a clown, he always makes me laugh. I love him."-- Casey

Thank you for being so easy to love, Erik. Thank you for choosing us to be your folks. We adore you and we look forward to every single day with you.

Love,

Mom, Dad and Casey

On Wednesday, while I was at work, Pedar texted me a note that read, "Took Erik to Barber Joe's. Grumpy old man ignored my request for a trim and butchered his hair!"


We're looking forward to his curls coming back! We took Erik to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom today to help celebrate his Birthday with Aunt Bridget, Uncle Chuck, Liam and Lila too. We all had a terrific time! Will post pictures soon. Happy Birthday, Erik!

Erik 2nd bday blog post

Erik 1st bday blog post

Erik birth blog post

38 Life Lessons

2011-12-28T11:04:00.000-08:00

(I loved this post so much I had to share it with you. This is post Leo wrote to his children on his 38th Birthday.)

Post written by Leo Babauta.

38 Lessons I’ve Learned in My 38 Years

1. Always swallow your pride to say you’re sorry. Being too proud to apologize is never worth it — your relationship suffers for no good benefit.

2. Possessions are worse than worthless — they’re harmful. They add no value to your life, and cost you everything. Not just the money required to buy them, but the time and money spent shopping for them, maintaining them, worrying about them, insuring them, fixing them, etc.

3. Slow down. Rushing is rarely worth it. Life is better enjoyed at a leisurely pace.

4. Goals aren’t as important as we think. Try working without them for a week. Turns out, you can do amazing things without goals. And you don’t have to manage them, cutting out on some of the bureaucracy of your life. You’re less stressed without goals, and you’re freer to choose paths you couldn’t have foreseen without them.

5. The moment is all there is. All our worries and plans about the future, all our replaying of things that happened in the past — it’s all in our heads, and it just distracts us from fully living right now. Let go of all that, and just focus on what you’re doing, right at this moment. In this way, any activity can be meditation.

6. When your child asks for your attention, always grant it. Give your child your full attention, and instead of being annoyed at the interruption, be grateful for the reminder to spend time with someone you love.

7. Don’t go into debt. That includes credit card debt, student debt, home debt, personal loans, auto loans. We think they’re necessary but they’re not, at all. They cause more headaches than they’re worth, they can ruin lives, and they cost us way more than we get. Spend less than you earn, go without until you have the money.

8. I’m not cool, and I’m cool with that. I wasted a lot of energy when I was younger worrying about being cool. It’s way more fun to forget about that, and just be yourself.

9. The only kind of marketing you need is an amazing product. If it’s good, people will spread the word for you. All other kind of marketing is disingenuous.

10. Never send an email or message that’s unfit for the eyes of the world. In this digital age, you never know what might slip into public view.

11. You can’t motivate people. The best you can hope for is to inspire them with your actions. People who think they can use behavioral “science” or management techniques have not spent enough time on the receiving end of either.

12. If you find yourself swimming with all the other fish, go the other way. They don’t know where they’re going either.

13. You will miss a ton, but that’s OK. We’re so caught up in trying to do everything, experience all the essential things, not miss out on anything important … that we forget the simple fact that we cannot experience everything. That physical reality dictates we’ll miss most things. We can’t read all the good books, watch all the good films, go to all the best cities in the world, try all the best restaurants, meet all the great people. But the secret is: life is better when we don’t try to do everything. Learn to enjoy the slice of life you experience, and life turns out to be wonderful.

14. Mistakes are the best way to learn. Don’t be afraid to make them. Try not to repeat the same ones too often.

15. Failures are the stepping stones to success. Without failure, we’ll never learn how to succeed. So try to fail, instead of trying to avoid failure through fear.

16. Rest is more important than you think. People work too hard, forget to rest, and then begin to hate their jobs. In fitness, you see it constantly: people training for a marathon getting burned out because they don’t know how to let their straining muscles and joints recover. People who try to do too much because they don’t know that rest is where their body gets stronger, after the stress.

17. There are few joys that equal a good book, a good walk, a good hug, or a good friend. All are free.

18. Fitness doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a long process, a learning process, something that happens in little bits over a long period. I’ve been getting fit for five years now, and I still have more to learn and do. But the progress I’ve made has been amazing, and it’s been a great journey.

19. The destination is just a tiny slice of the journey. We’re so worried about goals, about our future, that we miss all the great things along the way. If you’re fixated on the goal, on the end, you won’t enjoy it when you get there. You’ll be worried about the next goal, the next destination.

20. A good walk cures most problems. Want to lose weight and get fit? Walk. Want to enjoy life but spend less? Walk. Want to cure stress and clear your head? Walk. Want to meditate and live in the moment? Walk. Having trouble with a life or work problem? Walk, and your head gets clear.

21. Let go of expectations. When you have expectations of something — a person, an experience, a vacation, a job, a book — you put it in a predetermined box that has little to do with reality. You set up an idealized version of the thing (or person) and then try to fit the reality into this ideal, and are often disappointed. Instead, try to experience reality as it is, appreciate it for what it is, and be happy that it is.

22. Giving is so much better than getting. Give with no expectation of getting something in return, and it becomes a purer, more beautiful act. To often we give something and expect to get an equal measure in return — at least get some gratitude or recognition for our efforts. Try to let go of that need, and just give.

23. Competition is very rarely as useful as cooperation. Our society is geared toward competition — rip each other’s throats out, survival of the fittest, yada yada. But humans are meant to work together for the survival of the tribe, and cooperation pools our resources and allows everyone to contribute what they can. It requires a whole other set of people skills to work cooperatively, but it’s well worth the effort.

24. Gratitude is one of the best ways to find contentment. We are often discontent in our lives, desire more, because we don’t realize how much we have. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, be grateful for the amazing gifts you’ve been given: of loved ones and simple pleasures, of health and sight and the gift of music and books, of nature and beauty and the ability to create, and everything in between. Be grateful every day.

25. Compassion for other living things is more important than pleasure. Many people scoff at vegetarianism because they love the taste of meat and cheese too much, but they are putting the pleasure of their taste buds ahead of the suffering of other living, feeling beings. You can be perfectly healthy on a vegetarian (even vegan) diet, so killing and torturing animals is absolutely unnecessary. Compassion is a much more fulfilling way to live than closing your eyes to suffering.

26. Taste buds change. I thought I could never give up meat, but by doing it slowly, I never missed it. I thought I could never give up junk food like sweets, fried crap, nachos, all kinds of unhealthy things … and yet today I would rather eat some fresh berries or raw nuts. Weird, but it’s amazing how much our taste buds can change.

27. Create. The world is full of distractions, but very few are as important as creating. In my job as a writer, there is nothing that comes close to being as crucial as creating. In my life, creating is one of the few things that has given me meaning. When it’s time to work, clear away all else and create.

28. Get some perspective. Usually when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. In the larger picture, this one problem means almost nothing. This fight we’re having with someone else — it’s over something that matters naught. Let it go, and move on.

29. Don’t sit too much. It kills you. Move, dance, run, play.

30. Use the magic of compound interest. Invest early, and it will grow as if by alchemy. Live on little, don’t get into debt, save all you can, and invest it in mutual funds. Watch your money grow.

31. All we are taught in schools, and all we see in the media (news, films, books, magazines, Internet) has a worldview that we’re meant to conform to. Figure out what that worldview is, and question it. Ask if there are alternatives, and investigate. Hint: the corporations exert influence over all of our information sources. Another hint: read Chomsky.

32. Learn the art of empathy. Too often we judge people on too little information. We must try to understand what they do instead, put ourselves in their shoes, start with the assumption that what others do has a good reason if we understand what they’re going through. Life becomes much better if you learn this art.

33. Do less. Most people try to do too much. They fill life with checklists, and try to crank out tasks as if they were widget machines. Throw out the checklists and just figure out what’s important. Stop being a machine and focus on what you love. Do it lovingly.

34. No one knows what they’re doing as parents. We’re all faking it, and hoping we’re getting it right. Some people obsess about the details, and miss out on the fun. I just try not to mess them up too much, to show them they’re loved, to enjoy the moments I can with them, to show them life is fun, and stay out of the way of them becoming the amazing people they’re going to become. That they already are.

35. Love comes in many flavors. I love my children, completely and more than I can ever fully understand. I love them each in a different way, and know that each is perfect in his or her own way.

36. Life is exceedingly brief. You might feel like there’s a huge mass of time ahead of you, but it passes much faster than you think. Your kids grow up so fast you get whiplash. You get gray hairs before you’re done getting your bearings on life. Appreciate every damn moment.

37. Fear will try to stop you. Doubts will try to stop you. You’ll shy away from doing great things, from going on new adventures, from creating something new and putting it out in the world, because of self-doubt and fear. It will happen in the recesses of your mind, where you don’t even know it’s happening. Become aware of these doubts and fears. Shine some light on them. Beat them with a thousand tiny cuts. Do it anyway, because they are wrong.

38. I have a lot left to learn. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I know almost nothing, and that I’m often wrong about what I think I know. Life has many lessons left to teach me, and I’m looking forward to them all.

Ferni, the wonder dog

2011-12-27T23:45:00.000-08:00

We recently welcomed Ferno, more commonly known as Ferni, into the family. Ferni dropped by a couple of weeks ago and we took a few great pictures of her and being the proud Auntie that I am, I just had to share. Ferni loved the huge leaf piles that Pedar had created just moments before she arrived!

Ferni's Folks: Dean and Dagny

Here she goes!

Jump in the pile you adorable little girl you! Go for it!

Uh Oh Ferni, your ears are covering your eyes!

Oh Ferni, you are so precious!

Curly reminded Ferni who was the boss of the backyard!

Curly must have said something terrible to poor Ferni!

It won't be long before Ferni is able get up there with you, Erik!

Aunt Nora loves you Ferni! I need a fix soon, please tell your Mom to come over again for a play-date with grouchy Curly!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-27T00:03:00.000-08:00

It was beautiful and fun and full of love and good food. It was a great Christmas Eve with my Margery, Chuck, Bridget, Liam, Lila and all of us. My parents were stuck at home wheezing. We picked up their gifts and took tons of pics and videos. Mom, I promise I will load the videos soon!

Aunt Margie got Lila this adorable hat!

Erik in in LOVE with helicopters!

Christmas morning was spent at our house for a few hours. We are so lucky, Casey woke up at 5:30 a.m. wanting to see if Santa had come yet, but Pedar told him to stay in bed. So he fell back asleep until 7:30 a.m. We had to help Erik get up at that time to join him! I love my sleepers! Best Christmas gift ever!

Erik got a new scooter!

Mama got a Longboard! I'm going to learn with Casey. Once I master the Longboard, I'm learning how to ride a unicycle. I'll be posting super fun videos of me learning. It's good to laugh at yourself, a lot!

Santa left Casey a Cruncher in the fireplace.
Casey was THRILLED!!

Come here so I can give you a Christmas kiss!

We're a FINE looking bunch of Bruce's! Wish the Portland Bruce's and Dean had been part of this pic too!

Erik's been hugging it out with an unfriendly virus. He was playing on the floor, Aunt Dagny gave him a cozy wozy blanket and he was out, for two hours!

The best Christmas gift of all, my love!

At the end of the night Casey grabbed Erik, hugged him and told him he loved him. I hope they continue this love fest at every Christmas because that is what Christmas is about isn't it, taking the time to tell the ones most dear to you that you love them!! You don't have to wait till Christmas, I dare you to say it as often as you can, until you make someone uncomfortable, try it, its fun!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T13:56:00.001-08:00

I am feeling grateful and happy and loved! 2012 is going to be a great year-- I can feel it in my bones.

Much love to you and yours!!

Happy Birthday, Leif!

2011-12-24T09:14:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, Leif! We love you soooo much and hope you have a terrific day today. Last year I said this about Leif! I've said this before about Leif too!

Leif is Pedar's OLDER brother. He lives in Portland with his beautiful wife, Sierra and his adorable girls, Ava and Lola. This post should be called, "The many FUNNY faces of Leif!"

We love you man! Hope you got some kind of fancy toy for your Birthday!

Nite Brite Parade

2011-12-22T22:07:00.000-08:00

Wednesday night after dinner we jumped into the car to go look at Christmas lights. We turned onto M Street and all of sudden we saw a ton of bikes with Christmas lights. We soon discovered that we just happened to come on the right night, to the exact right place, at the exact right time for the 5th Annual Nite Brite Parade. It was AWESOME!!

The boys loved the Nite Brite parade! We either want Carmichael to plan one, or we are being in this parade next year!!

This guy is seven and I adore him!

Casey is 7!!

2011-12-21T15:51:00.000-08:00

December 22nd = Casey's Birthday!!!

Happy 7th Birthday, Casey! My baby that I carried in a Bjorn till he was six-months-old and his legs turned blue because I was cutting off his circulation, is SEVEN today? It can't be! But it's true. Seven years ago I became a Mama and my life has been more wonderful, every-single-day-since.

Casey is seven-years-old. I'm going to have to get used to how that sounds. I want to write down what Casey is currently loving at this moment to try and capture him at this very sweet age.

Casey is 62 pounds.
Casey is wearing a size 3 1/2 (almost 4) shoe
Casey is wearing an 8 slim pants, he is almost in a 9 (he has a tiny-hiny and skinny hips)
Casey loves robots, monsters, legos, arts and crafts
Casey loves oreos, dino-chickens, rice, terryaki chicken, bacon and apples
Casey needs about twenty minutes to wake-up
Casey doesn't like to eat breakfast
Casey isn't a great eater
Casey loves his brother
Casey loves to run
Casey likes baseball, wasn't that thrilled with soccer
Casey loves swimming
Casey likes camping
Casey doesn't like cleaning his room or cleaning up after art projects.
Casey can be shy
Casey is well liked by his classmates.

Casey is loved. We are so proud of the creative, sweet and thoughtful boy he is turning out to be. Thank you, Casey, for choosing us to be your parents. We love you more every single darn minute. Happy Birthday my sweet boy.

Goodbye is no fun!

2011-12-20T15:52:00.000-08:00

Today I am saying goodbye to my friend Jen. She is moving to Baltimore for a terrific new job. Jen keeps telling me that we're not saying goodbye, we're saying so long, but that isn't true. We will visit as much as we can, but this is no small move. This is a big move.

Jen is smack in the middle of the picture in the maroon jacket.

Jen recently received her PhD from UC Davis. She worked so hard, we are all so thrilled for her that she was rewarded with this terrific job.

I cannot wait to hear about her new job, new friends, new place and maybe even a new man. I look forward to skyping with her and sending her crazy emails and text messages.

It isn't easy to say goodbye to a woman that is so generous and so loving. This is the woman that tutored my son and bought gifts for me and my boys, when she barely had a dime to spare. This is the woman that always listens with an open heart. She never judges. She loves nature and hiking, but also shopping and dancing. I feel like this past year I finally really "got in" with Jen. I fell hard for her and now I have to let her go. But I'm not going to let her go, I'm going to keep her forever and grow old with her and celebrate every single milestone with her.

I love you, Jen. I am so proud of you. I will forever be grateful for your friendship and unconditional love.

I'll see you in Baltimore soon!

Happy 8th Birthday, Ava!

2011-12-19T11:12:00.000-08:00

Today is Ava's 8th Birthday!

We love you beautiful Ava. We hope you have you a fantastic birthday!

Sitting and watching

2011-12-16T22:29:00.000-08:00

Love this post by Leo Babauta. Just had to share it with you.

‘No matter what gets in the way or which way the wind does blow… I’ll just sit here and watch the river flow.’ ~Bob Dylan

Post written by Leo Babauta.

Have you ever felt that we are rushing through life, that we get so caught up in busy-ness that life is passing us almost without notice?

I get this feeling all the time.

The antidote is simple: sitting and watching.

Take a minute out of your busy day to sit with me, and talk. Take a moment to imagine being in the middle of traffic — you’re driving, stressed out by the high amount of traffic, trying to get somewhere before you’re late, angry at other drivers who are rude or idiotic, completely focused on making your way through this jungle of metal on a ribbon of asphalt. Now you’ve gotten to the end, phew, you made it, wonderful, and you’re only a few minutes late … but did you notice the scenery you passed along the way? Did you talk to any of the other people along your path? Did you enjoy the ride?

No, probably not. You were so caught up in getting there, in the details of navigating, in the stress of driving, that you didn’t have time to notice your surroundings, the people nearby, or the wonderful journey. This is how we are in life.

Now imagine that you pulled over, and got out of the car, and found a grassy spot to sit. And you watched the other cars zoom by. And you watched the grass blown gently by the wind, and the birds making a flocking pattern overhead, and the clouds lazily watching you back.

Sit and watch.

We don’t do this, because it’s useless to do something that isn’t productive, that doesn’t improve our lives. But as Alan Watts wrote in The Way of Zen:

“As muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone, it could be argued that those who sit quietly and do nothing are making one of the best possible contributions to a world in turmoil.”

It’s interesting, too, what we see when we sit and watch. We will notice others rushing, and worried, and angry, and in them see a mirror of ourselves. We will notice children laughing (or crying) with their parents, and remember what we’re missing when we rush to improve our lives.

More interesting is what you see when you sit and watch yourself. You learn to step outside yourself, and act as an observer. You see your thoughts, and learn more about yourself than you ever could if you were rushing to take action. You see your self-doubts, and self-criticism, and wonder where they came from (a bad incident in childhood, perhaps?) and wonder if you are smart enough to let them go. You see your rationalizations, and realize that they are bullshit, and learn to let those go too. You see your fears, and realize what hold they have over you, and realize that you can make them powerless, by just sitting and watching them, not taking action on them.

By sitting and watching, you come to know yourself.

You learn the most valuable lessons about life, by sitting and watching.

And as we know from the observer effect in physics, by watching, we change what we watch.

Take a few minutes today, to sit and watch. It might change your life.

Love is.....

2011-12-16T14:44:00.000-08:00

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
~ Louis De Bernieres

9 days

2011-12-16T14:24:00.000-08:00

Yep folks, nine days till Christmas!

I am feeling a little bit better today about this HUGE deadline. I finished our Christmas cards, now I just need to pick them up at Walgreens, address them and mail them. I just realized I only finished the easy part. Bummer. I bought some wrapping paper last night too. Feeling much better!

Casey and Erik both have parties at school today. They were excited about eating treats and celebrating with friends. Today is Casey's last day of school!! He is off for two weeks.

We're believers

2011-12-15T08:16:00.000-08:00

Last night we went on the Polar Express Train Ride in Old Sacramento. Pedar couldn't get out of a meeting so Mor-Mor happily joined us on the ride. I wanted to be able to coordinate tickets for both grandparents and Liam and Lila and their folks, but by the time my membership pass allowed me to buy tickets (I have the least expensive membership) most of the tickets were sold out.

Erik and Casey have a ticket to ride!

Mor-Mor with her boys!

The hot chocolate tap dancers were fantastic!

The conductor punched our tickets with the initial "B" for Believer!! Oh yes we are!

The "ghost" or "hobo" didn't believe in Santa. He told us he wasn't coming. He made Casey very anxious!

We arrived at the North Pole!

Checking out the North Pole!

The "ghost" as Casey calls him was fantastic!

Love me some Mor-Mor! She might have been more excited about the ride than the boys!!

Very happy train riders!

They loved their gift from Santa, a sleigh bell on a leather ribbon.


We ended our evening in the Old Eagle Theater to see Santa. The Theater was decorated beautifully and the line was short! Casey at first didn't want to see Santa, but Erik did, so I forced Casey to go with him. When I went to sit Erik on Santa's lap, Erik started struggling and he even kicked poor Santa. Erik said he was sorry and then Santa started talking to him and all was well. Santa was so sweet and kind to the boys. They both gave him hugs when they were done. Casey couldn't believe that Santa knew exactly what he wanted for Christmas! "He must have got my letter, Mom! He knew exactly what I want for Christmas!" -- said Casey. "Of course he got your letter, Casey. The spirit of Christmas lives in your heart and if you believe, Christmas will always be magical for you!" -- said a very happy Mama.

11 days till Christmas

2011-12-14T11:04:00.000-08:00

Happy Wednesday! We are sliding into the weekend! I worked a bit last night on work projects so I am feeling a bit better about the work side of my life. Now I need to get busy and get my Christmas on!

12 days till Christmas!!!

2011-12-13T10:49:00.000-08:00

I am so excited to see the boys faces on Christmas morning. I can't wait to sip coffee and know that somehow it all got done. (Whispers to heaven: Please help me get it done!)

I want to confess a few things today:

1. I don't have any Christmas wrapping paper. Yep, don't have any Christmas wrapping paper in my house. Need to go buy some so I can wrap the four gifts I have purchased.
2. Yes. Four gifts. I have A LOT of shopping to do still.
3. We still haven't made our Christmas card. Maybe they will be Happy New Year cards!
4. Casey's Birthday party is this Sunday. I need to figure out goodie bags.
5. I need to finish shopping.
6. I started making these cool gifts this weekend. I can't share what they are because, well a few of the folks receiving the gift (if I ever finish them) read this blog. Turns out this adorable crafty idea is not as easy as it looks and is messy. Why do I torture myself so?
7. I am behind on several work projects and am finding it hard to get ahead.
8. Curly needs a bath and his teeth brushed.
9. I need to mop my kitchen and bathroom floors.
10. I'm most likely not going to clean my floors for a long time.

Hope you all have a great day!

Ferno

2011-12-12T09:39:00.000-08:00

Pedar and I are so excited to welcome Dagny and Dean's precious little puppy, Ferno, to the family. They just brought her home last night. She is a Vizsla, and she is adorable. We look forward to meeting her very soon.

Ferno sleeping!

Ferno going home on Mama Dagny's lap!

Little Ferno, Uncle Pedar and Aunt Nora sent you a little gift (or two) in the mail to celebrate your arrival. Your water and food bowl should arrive to your house soon!!

It's that time of year

2011-12-10T15:33:00.001-08:00

For Holiday work parties! Last night my work, Western Health Advantage hosted an off-the-hook super fun party at the fancy schmancy Citizen Hotel. Pedar and I danced the evening away and then stayed the night at the hotel! Sarah Maren --who is a super fabulous talented photographer --set up this awesome photo area with props, etc. We all had a great time taking pics and laughing. SO MUCH FUN! We got up early this morning, ate a delicious breakfast at Evan's Kitchen and arrived at Mor-Mor and Pop's by 9:30 a.m. to get the kids.

So happy together!

Photo booths are so much fun!

Fun at the the WHA Holiday party!

We've spent the day making Christmas presents and cleaning house. Pedar is out with the boys having a bit of plane fun at El Camino High School right now. I am enjoying the quiet.

The fun doesn't stop for me, because tonight I am going to with my ladies to celebrate Dr. Jen's PhD (Pretty Hot Dame!) Oh yeah! Thank goodness I danced for about three hours straight to work off all these fabulous celebratory calories!!

Hope you are having a SUPER AWESOME weekend. Go get it!

Happiness is the key to life

2011-12-09T10:59:00.001-08:00

Come on, get happy! Life is too short to not find your smile. I hope you smile so much that your face hurts and you create new lines around your eyes. Oh, and laugh too! Laughing is so wonderful.

Good Day Sacramento

2011-12-08T11:40:00.001-08:00

This morning the Western Health Advantage du-WHAp's appeared on Good Morning Sacramento. I am a proud member of the du-WHAp's! We have been practicing for a little over a month now, and we sound beautiful! Yesterday we performed at the Pioneer House, a retirement home. We had a fabulous time singing and visiting with the residents. It was so nice to leave the office for a bit and spread some Holiday cheer!

It turns out that these fabulous "Dueling Pianos Guys" were on the show this morning as well and the TV hosts couldn't get enough of them, so we only sang for a tiny bit. We brought a ton of food to donate to the Good Day Sacramento's food drive, that was our real mission. I wrote up an entire FAQ that Good Day didn't use, so I will just have to share it with you:

Why do we sing? We sing to share our joy with the community, particularly those who may be feeling a greater need for loving contact.

Where do the du-WHAp's sing in the community? Thus far, we have sung in nursing homes and other elderly communities.

How long have we been singing in the community? We are in our second year of cheer-spreading.

Any plans to sing other than the Holiday time? Plans, no. Willingness to consider it, certainly.

What else do we want our fans to know? You don’t have to be an American Idol to be an American hero. Voices raised in the spirit of kindness and compassion will always be a positive force in the world! Please consider starting or joining a similar group, or sharing anything else that helps you and others “get your merry on”.

Who is Western Health Advantage? We are the local health plan that can. We are committed to improving the health and well-being of our community by expanding access to health care and responding positively to the changing needs of our members, providers and community, while delivering the highest level of service with integrity, accuracy and sincerity. To learn more, please visit our website at westernhealth.com

Look for the video of the Dueling Pianos, we were seated behind them so we were included in their shots a lot.

http://gooddaysacramento.cbslocal.com/video/

Neat Freak Mom: I have a beautiful crush on you!

2011-12-07T15:56:00.001-08:00

I'm in love with a lady and she doesn't even know it. Her name is Susie and she is the Neat Freak Mom. Some day I would LOVE to have her help us with our pantry, garage, kitchen, bathroom, closets, boys rooms...you know, my whole world. You feeling me?

You should "like" her on facebook. Her before and after pictures are so much fun, like these:

Pantry before Neat Freak Mom did her magic. Man, I wish that was my pantry!

After Neat Freak Mom's magic. Woman is gold I tell you!

Bathroom drawer before Neat Freak Mom did her magic.

After NFM waved her wand!

Under bathroom cabinet before NFM.

I long to live in a place like this, forever and ever, amen.

This Hot Wheels Wall Track that Neat Freak Mom recommended on her facebook page is so cool and perfect for my small house! The boys will love the fun of racing cars down the wall + my floor will be clutter free! It's easy to hang with safe-for-walls Command™ Strips from 3M. (ToysRus, Target)

The Ball Claw is an easy way to organize, preserve + display your favorite sports balls. (The Container Store or www.ballclaw.com)

Don't you want a half a dozen of these ball holders?? I do! I do!

Christmas Cheer

2011-12-06T16:10:00.001-08:00

Happy Monday

2011-12-05T11:13:00.001-08:00

I'm beginning to feel that crazy I-don't-have-enough-time-to-get-it-all-done Holiday feeling! Here is what I am doing to feel better:

1. I wrote down all our event dates for December.

2. I made a Christmas/Birthday shopping list.

3. I cleaned my bathrooms yesterday. Nothing like the smell of bleach to make me feel better.

4. I went shopping at Marla Sue's in Folsom. This is the best Consignment Boutique in the Sacramento area. You have to go visit: 1300 East Bidwell St., Folsom, CA, 95630, 916.984.6500

5. I went shopping this weekend with my friend, Dr. Jen. She just finished her PhD and I am so proud of her. She is moving to the East Coast very soon, so I am trying to absorb her as much as I can.

6. Pedar and I watched, "Bread and Tulips" this weekend. Very romantic movie. It reminded me to love my man with passion and joy. Life is too short not to dance, laugh and enjoy romance.

7. We had super fun playdates with dear friends and their awesome kids.

8. Loved watching Aunt Margery play hide-and-seek with Erik and Casey last night.

9. While Erik and I shopped with Jen, Pedar and Casey completed his school project. They created an igloo out of sugar cubes and researched why and how Eskimos make igloos. Casey did a great job and Pedar was so incredibly patient. It was so AWESOME to come home knowing this project was done and we could enjoy the rest of our Sunday.

10. Tomorrow I am going to go buy a red lipstick. I am going to wear it all month long. I never wear red lipstick. I am excited to change it up.

Stuff

2011-12-02T09:29:00.001-08:00

This time of year is beautiful and magical, but it also brings out the ugly greed in some. When I remember Christmas, I remember decorating the tree, listening to music and nights spent by the fire. I don't remember mountains of gifts, but I do remember playing with my cousins and dressing up for Christmas Eve candlelight service and singing with my whole heart.

Last night was family night at the Book Fair. I signed up Pedar and I to work from 6 to 8 p.m. Pedar took Casey on his field trip yesterday so he had the entire day off. He picked up Erik and made dinner. I didn't get home till ten minutes to 6 p.m. It had been a long day. I asked Pedar to please work both shifts at the Book Fair and I would feed the kids and we would come visit him at the Book Fair. So we did. I let the boys each pick out a book. Casey wanted two books, but he had picked out a magaziney type book, so I picked out a regular read for him as well. He was mad at me because he wanted a Star Wars book. He had a small tantrum about not getting the second book he wanted as we walked to the car. He grumbled about it the entire drive home.

At one point on the way home he said to me, "I thought you were going to work at the Book Fair, Mom."

I said, "Yeah, well, I got home late and Dad was ready and I wanted to spend some time with you two tonight."

He said, "I wish you were working at the Book Fair and Dad was with us. He would have bought me the book I wanted."

"Wow!" I said. "That really hurts my feelings Casey. I don't need you to to like me. My job is to raise a polite, loving young man that thinks of others before he thinks about himself. Right now you are acting out because you didn't get your way. It's not fun to be told No, but I need you to learn to accept how I answer you better."

Silence from the back of the car. He eventually said he was sorry, but I don't think he really meant it. I need to take Casey with me to volunteer at River City Food Bank. He needs to be aware of how much stuff he has. His friend recently got theses beyblade toys. Casey HAD to have them, so, on a recent Target trip, we let him pick out two of them. He played with them for about two hours. They have been "resting" in his closet ever since.

Too much stuff. I want my family to focus more on creating and making memories with family and friends and less about receiving. I have my work cut out for me. I want my kids to experience all that life has to offer, but having stuff does not equal a happy life.

Take it out of the neighborhood

2011-12-01T11:50:00.001-08:00

I'm not a big fan of confrontation, but I'm even less a fan of hushed critical whispering. I think most people choose the less brave route of complaining or being critical behind closed doors or in hushed circles. I think it is much braver to speak your mind. Do you want change to happen or do just want to bitch? I want change.

I was brave the other night. On Saturday I had my Bailey family over for dinner. We enjoyed a lot of fun time outside with the kids and we enjoyed a delicious rib dinner. After dinner everyone was winding down watching Elf and the kids were playing games. I snuck out front by myself for some fresh air and to admire the Christmas lights Pedar put up on the house. Just as I was closing the door behind me, this crazy car came barreling around the corner, almost hitting two parked cars and parked the wrong way in front of the corner house on our street. I had mentioned to Pedar and several neighbors a few weeks ago that I believe a young man is selling drugs (what kind I’m not sure) in our hood. Several times a day a car pulls up in front of the house, the young man will walk to the window of the car, some kind of exchange is made and the car drives like a bat out of hell down the street.

It’s the crazy driving that is on my last nerve. Several times this beautiful behavior happens while my boys are playing outside on their bikes. These a$$holes don’t live in my neighborhood. They drive like freaks and make me nervous for my children’s safety. I have been so angry that this young man/punk thinks he can invite these jerks into our neighborhood.

Before Saturday night several of our neighbors had talked about confronting his step-mom. We talked about installing more cameras. We talked about writing down the license plates of the cars, but nothing has been done. Talk, talk and more talk. I wanted action!

So on Saturday night I watched another deal go down. The car pulled up, the young man came out of his house, walked to the car, exchange was made, car drives away like a freak. As the young man turned to walk back up his driveway, I yelled.

“Hey! Hey!” I said (For a minute I couldn’t believe the voice came from me. I was now going to have to walk down the street and address him.)

“Yeah?” He said.

“You’ve got to stop this,” I said. “You’ve got to stop.”

“I’m not doing anything wrong,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

I just looked at him and shook my head.

“Listen, I know you’ve had a hard time since your Dad died,” I touched his arm and looked into his eyes. “But you’ve got to know, we’re all watching you. We’ve had shootings and robberies in the neighborhood. Several neighbors have cameras, we’re watching you. You’ve got to stop,” I rambled.

He paused for a long minute and said, “I’ll take it out of the neighborhood.”

I looked him in the eye and didn’t say anything and just walked down the street back to my house.
I opened the door and walked into the house and told Pedar that I confronted him. I realized I was shaking. I started to worry that he or his punk associates would get angry and do something to harm our property. I had a hard time sleeping on Saturday night. I’m feeling better now. And you know what? I’ve noticed less crazy cars whipping around our neighborhood this week. I’m hoping he really did “take it out of the hood.”

I want a safe neighborhood for my children to ride their bikes and play. I also don’t want to be robbed again. I’m going to do everything I can to make my neighborhood safe.

Life

2011-11-29T12:42:00.001-08:00

Yesterday we all got back to it. We were ready. I had lunches made, kids were dressed and ready for school/daycare. Only one thing stood in my way from having a great day: I couldn't find my wallet.

I panicked. I remembered having it when I went on an errand early Sunday. I remember seeing it in the trunk of my car. Maybe I threw it away? Maybe I set it on top of a piece of furniture? Pedar took Casey to school. I was trying to make an 8:30 a.m. doctor appointment and was beginning to think I was going to have to cancel. I didn't have a wallet! Goodness, what was I going to do if I lost it? I was going to have to cancel everything and get a new drivers license. Ugh! I even started to cry a little. I was feeling like my bad luck was back. What the hell was going on with me that I was so unorganized??

Pedar got back home and he started helping me look. He walked into our bedroom with my wallet. I didn't even see him right away, I was too busy punching a pillow. Relief flowed out of me. I was so happy. I kissed him, jumped in my car and made it to my appointment.

*** Tip: Take a moment today to make a copy of everything in your wallet. Lay it out on the copy machine or scan it and keep that copy in a safe place.***

The rest of the day went smoothly. We played hide-n-seek last night and tidied the house a bit. It was a beautiful day. I went to bed feeling happy. I am so grateful for my job, Pedar's job, Casey's awesome school, Erik's fun daycare, our healthcare, our home, our great family, neighbors,co-workers and friends. I love my life.

Bailey Family Fun

2011-11-27T09:12:00.001-08:00

Yesterday my Bailey family celebrated a belated Thanksgiving together at our house. Before everyone arrived we went to Mikey's Tree Lot and got our tree. I decorated most of our house the night before so our house looked like Santa's workshop. I love Christmas!!

Margery helped me put the lights, ribbon and beads on the tree and the kids helped with the ornaments! Thank you, Margery!!

Casey loves our Christmas Tree! He was so happy to see it all together.

Aunt Margery bought all the supplies to make gum-drop trees with the kids! So fun and they all got to take one home! Thank you, Margery!

Erik loved putting ornaments on the tree. This was the first year he was really into helping decorate.

It was a gorgeous day yesterday. The kids were able to play outside for a nice long time before dinner. It was so fun!

These two have so much fun together!

The kids table.

Time to connect

2011-11-26T10:05:00.001-08:00

Erik, Ava, Casey and Lola

Erik, Aunt Dagny and Lola

I was reading one of my favorite blogs this morning and she reminded me that people love to brag about being busy. I would add that we like to also talk about how tired we are too. I'm going to try this Holiday season to not immediately answer with the word busy when someone asks me how I've been. Don't get me started on tired. I believe that most of us CHOOSE when we sleep and how much we sleep, so why are we complaining about being tired?? If we have poor habits, whose fault it is that we are tired? Who is choosing to not go to bed earlier? I hope we can focus on why we are together: To connect.

We had a fabulous Thanksgiving. Leif, Sierra, Ava and Lola flew into Sacramento on Wednesday morning and stayed till late Friday afternoon. We loved spending time with them and the kids LOVED playing with their cousins.

The best part was just reconnecting with Leif and Sierra and the girls. Hearing their voices, seeing them laugh was wonderful. I think the part we miss the most about them living in Portland is the little things; the sound of their laughter, the feel of their hugs, hearing about their day and so much more.

I am thankful to Leif and Sierra for buying plane tickets and coming to Sacramento. Thank you! We love you.

What are you grateful for?

2011-11-21T13:55:00.001-08:00

Today's posting was taken from one of my favorite blogs: Be More with Less.

The Thanksgiving Project – Giving Thanks for the Big Things

Written by Courtney Carver: This is a guest post from Josh Martin of Josh Martin Ink.

I remember lying in my hospital bed in Brampton, Ontario, chatting with my Kenyan-born friend, Timothy, who had come to visit. “If you were in Kenya, you’d probably be dead,” he told me matter-of-factly. That conversation happened over three years ago, shortly after my diagnosis with leukemia and I haven’t forgotten it.

A lot has happened between that conversation and today. Intense chemotherapy, pharmaceuticals by the truckload, a couple month-long hospital stays, blood transfusions, radiation therapy, access to multi-million dollar pieces of equipment, a bone marrow transplant and an army of world-class doctors, nurses, pharmacists, technicians and medical experts at my disposal 24/7.

The result is that I’m alive and well today and completely cancer-free.

I think back to when I volunteered on a Liberian refugee camp in Ghana. I remember stepping out of the way as a man raced down the rutted street toward the camp’s clinic, carrying a sick loved one in a wheelbarrow. I’m haunted by the image of Rebecca, a 13-year-old girl, writhing in pain on a clinic bed; her father looking on with as much agony etched on his own face. “The medicine is there,” he told me. “But I can’t afford it.”

By sheer luck of latitude, I got the chance to get better. Rebecca did not.

When access to healthcare, clean water, food, money and a roof over my head has always been there, it’s easy to take it for granted. I have a lot to be thankful for, living in a country like Canada. My experience with cancer and volunteering in Ghana has helped me realize that.
So here’s to the big things we often take for granted. Here’s to a refrigerator full of food. Here’s to the electricity that runs that refrigerator. Here’s to clean water being a flick of the faucet away. Here’s to going to bed tonight with a roof over my head (and without the fear of a bomb crashing through it). Here’s to the knowledge that when I dial 911 an ambulance will come get me, not a man with a wheelbarrow.
And here’s to remembering those of us who aren’t so lucky. And to do our part to share our good fortune in whatever ways we can.

What are you grateful for? Add your items to the Thanksgiving Project — the goal is to have 1,000 items by the end of November.

Crazy in the head

2011-11-21T09:06:00.001-08:00

Yesterday Pedar finished a project I have been wanting to finish for awhile now. He made this awesome growth chart out of beautiful pine. He mounted it on the kitchen wall and we marked our heights on it; it is so darn cute.

I love the growth chart. It really looks great in the kitchen. I just don't love our kitchen. It has been over nine years since I painted the cabinets and the walls and created this stencil diamond pattern on the top of the cabinets that I don't really love, but at the time thought it really needed.

After looking at the growth chart and seeing something new in our kitchen, I decided I had to paint. We had a gallon of khaki/beige paint in the garage, so I opened it up and went for it. Our kitchen is really small, so I had most of the walls done in no time. I needed some help with the darn diamond pattern. Once the kids were put to bed, I turned to Pedar and said, "Could you help me paint over the diamonds on top of the cabinets?"

Pedar said, "Babe, I'm winding down for the night."

I said, "No, you're helping me with the kitchen." And then I called him a name. Not very nice of me. I regret the name calling. I was mad because I know he hates painting, and I had a feeling he didn't want to help me.

Pedar went to the garage for a few minutes, came back, picked up a paint brush and started helping me. He told me I owed him an apology. I apologized. I also made him laugh by saying the following:

"Just because you can say No to me, doesn't mean you should!"

Pedar finished covering the silly diamond pattern. I was up till about 11:30 on the rest of the kitchen. I have a little bit of clean-up to do later today. I am really happy with the results. I didn't realize how done I was with the pumpkin color until last night.

Some day our kitchen will have new cabinets, countertops and floor. For now, the paint helps me feel like we are doing something rather than just waiting for that windfall of cash to throw some money at projects.

Thank you, Pedar. Thank you for helping your crazy wife. Thank you for not saying No to me. I love you.

Brotherly love

2011-11-16T22:08:00.001-08:00

Nana and Pop-Pop took Casey and Erik to Apple Hill last week.

"We want apple pie, please!"

Casey got to play "hooky" last week for this special trip with his grandparents. It was pretty cool going to work knowing my boys were going to be having so much fun!

Erik will do WHATEVER Casey does. Oh dear!

Follow the leader

"Got Milk? Got cookies?"

Make time to PLAY!

2011-11-15T11:39:00.001-08:00

Weekend in Tahoe

2011-11-13T20:27:00.001-08:00

We had a terrific weekend in Tahoe. We went with just Pop-Pop Jim. We left Friday morning and came back early Sunday afternoon. Poor Erik came down with a fever on Friday and didn't feel right most of the weekend. He was still sweet though and slept a ton.


His fever made him feel a bit more weepy than usual. But this was after Casey pushed him into a hole!

I got him smiling again in no time.

Casey loved playing in the tiny bit of snow that was available!


Erik is exactly half of Casey's size. Casey weighs 62 pounds and Erik weighs 31 pounds.

Casey and Pedar had fun rolling huge balls of snow down the mountain behind the house.

I love my guys!

Saturday night, Mike and his friend Erin came over for dinner. Mike was there for bath-time of course! It's been a long time since we've heard the knock on our door at bath-time. We've missed Uncle Mike!!

Hope you all had a terrific weekend and are ready to have a SUPER week!

Family pics

2011-11-12T10:19:00.001-08:00

Here are some of the pics we took with Wes Bonnefin last weekend. I wish he could make Pedar and I look more rested. Damn, what's up with the baggage under our eyes??!!

Feelings, nothing more than feelings...

2011-11-10T10:38:00.001-08:00

Last night Casey had an argument with his friend. They were fighting over bracelets (Really? Are these boys or girls? Anyhoo!)

Casey started crying because his friend called him stupid. He wouldn't come to the table and join us at dinner because he didn't want his friend to see him crying. I tried to have them make-up. Casey was too upset. I had to talk him off the ledge. I told him that if I believed everything that people say about me, I would be a wreck. Just because someone calls you a name, it doesn't mean it’s true.

I don't think the boys ever really "talked" it out. Not sure apologies were made either, but they ended up playing well at the end.

Name calling is so easy isn't it? I know kids are not going to be great at communicating feelings, but I am going to try and work on it with my boys.

When you are upset, it is too easy to jump to name calling rather than address the real issue: Why are you upset? What is this about? Don't jump to another issue. Only handle the one that is happening right then and there. Stay on topic. Don't bring up anything else.

When Pedar and I were first married and we would get into an argument, I would not focus on the topic at hand, I would bring up other things I was upset about, and when the argument got really heated, I would say, "I can't talk to you right now!" I would storm off into our bedroom and punish him with silence. I didn't like being upset and I wanted to make-up, but I was too immature to own what I was doing. One day it finally hit me that I just wanted to be happy and I wanted to resolve problems not escalate them. I had to admit to myself that I was going to have to let a lot go in order to fight fair. I was not going to be able to bring up older issues. I had to only focus on the current disagreement and move forward. At some point I realized I was fighting like my Mom had fought with my Dad. You do what you know. My Mom would freeze my Dad out when she was upset with him and I was doing that to Pedar. I hated the cycle of yuckiness. I hated feeling sad and overwhelmed. It sucked the wind right out of my sails.

Pedar and I have learned how to communicate so much better since those early days. We want to be happy, so if one of us needs help or support, we WORK to give that to one another because our goal is for BOTH of us to be happy. I say work because it doesn’t always come naturally for either one of us to think about the other’s needs. I know cleaning the house is never going to come naturally to Pedar, but he knows it’s important to my sanity, so he always says yes when I ask him to help. He also knows I don’t mean put it off until I go crazy.

It’s not easy. Communicating is work. But, just like the guy in the kayak at Tahoe said, “The key to getting good at something is just to do it all the time.”

Luck is changing!

2011-11-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

I feel a shift in my luck. I feel lighter this week. Pedar got his truck back from the repair shop and that makes me happy.

The boys are at Apple Hill today with Nana and Pop-Pop and I love knowing they are having a great time. It felt like a Saturday as Pedar and I raced out of the house this morning. The boys were in their jammies and Nana was feeding them yummy breakfast and getting them ready for a fun day in the mountains. I LOVE IT!

Yesterday, Mor-Mor and Pop-Pop picked up Erik from his new school so they could see meet his new friends and teacher. I love that they wanted to visit his school and meet his peeps!! My children are so loved. No better way to make me happy than to love on my babies!

Thank you!!! Thank you!! Thank you!!!

Western Health Advantage has a small choir that sings at retirement homes during the Holiday's. I am singing with them this year and it is so fun to be part of a choir again. I am so lucky! I love singing. I love bringing smiles to people.

Here's hoping the full moon and this clover bring you an abundance of good luck today and everyday!

Change is beautiful!

2011-11-08T10:39:00.001-08:00

Today is the best day!

2011-11-07T09:33:00.000-08:00

My sister Margery told me I needed to STOP talking about my recent bad luck and start only thinking about what I want and what I am grateful for! Thank you, Margery. You are right. I need to STOP thinking and talking about the yucky stuff that has happened and focus only on great people and good things!

I am so grateful for love. I am grateful for family. I am grateful for my sweet and funny kids and my super-hunky-hubby that makes me feel loved and appreciated every single day. I am grateful for friends. I am grateful for my health. I am grateful for laugher. I am grateful for cute clothes. I am grateful for boot weather!

I love meeting new wonderful people. I love hearing about how people are serving others and making a difference in the world. I love kind people. I love the trees this time of year. I love hot tea. I love soup. I love funny people. I love my new employer and the people I work with.

Here is a great story Mr. Arun Gandhi, the venerable Mahatma Gandhi's grandson. Taken from Karen Walrond's Chookooloonks blog posting today:

There was once a king who wanted a definition of the word "peace." So he invited all the scholars in his kingdom to give him a definition, but he found each of their definitions unsuitable. Then one day, an Intellectual was visiting his kingdom from another land. The king summoned him to his palace, and asked him for the meaning of "peace."

"I can't tell you," said the Intellectual. "But there is someone who can."

"Who?" asked the king.

"There is a Sage," responded the Intellectual, "who lives in the mountains outside of your kingdom. He is too old to travel, but if you go visit him, he will give you an audience, and the answer you desire."

The next day, the king set out on his journey to go visit the Sage. Once he arrived at the home of the Sage, he asked him, "Please, old man, what is the definition of peace?"

The Sage left and went to a back room, and soon returned. He asked the king to hold out his hand. "Here is your answer," he said, and placed a single grain of wheat in the king's hand.

The king did not want to appear ignorant, so he nodded solemnly and thanked the Sage. Clutching the grain of wheat, he returned to his palace, and placed the grain of wheat in a small gold box. Every day, the king would open the box and stare at the wheat, but try as he might, he couldn't possibly divine the meaning of "peace" from the single grain of wheat.

Months later, the Intellectual returned to the kingdom, and the king again summoned him to his palace. "I visited the Sage," said the king, "and he gave me this." He opened the gold box, and showed the Intellectual the single grain of wheat. "I've been staring at it every day, trying to understand what it means, but I can't. How can this possibly hold the meaning of 'peace'?"

"Ah," said the Intellectual, understanding immediately. "The answer is right there. You see, by putting the grain of wheat in a box and keeping it safe, you have deprived it of interaction with the elements -- sun, wind, rain -- and so the grain remains a simple grain of wheat. Had you however, planted the grain, and allowed it to interact with all of the elements, you might now have a plant, and eventually, an entire field of wheat.

"It is the same with peace. Just because you have peace inside of you doesn't mean that anything good will come of it. Peace is not simply something you hold, it is something that you are required to spread -- allow it to interact with other people, and become a part of them. This is the meaning of peace."

May peace be with you!

Family pics

2011-11-05T22:10:00.000-07:00

A few weekends ago I purchased a Living Social deal for a photography session with Wes Bonnefin. It was $50 for an 8x10 and you receive the disc of all the pictures taken at the one-hour session. We met Wes this afternoon at a golf course in Roseville. It was FREEZING, but the location was gorgeous. I tried to take a few pictures too, but I didn't get as many as I had hoped. I will just have to be patient!

Wes was absolutely terrific! He is a father of two small children so he knew exactly what to say and do with our boys. He was relaxed and fun. We felt like we made a friend today! He showed me a couple of the pics of the boys and they were so beautiful!! I cannot wait!

Three strikes and I'm OUT!

2011-11-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

Go ahead and bench me coach, I suck a little bit anyways.

First strike: Backing up into Pedar's car. Damaging both our cars = BIG $$.

Second strike: Leaving my car doors open. Burglars take garage door opener out of my car. Jerks open the garage and take Pedar's bikes = BIG $$ Insurance won't cover bikes. Why didn't I pull my damn car into the garage that night? I never leave my car out!! Why didn't I make sure my car was locked? Why??!!!

Third strike: Red-light ticket. I was driving home Friday, Oct. 28. It was 4:58 p.m. I just wanted to be home. I didn't see the light change. All of a sudden lights were flashing everywhere. I knew it the minute it happened. Be careful at the intersection of Arden and Watt Ave. I've been praying since last Friday that I wouldn't get the ticket. But deep down I knew it was coming. I got it yesterday = $480

Good thing I'm priceless, because I have been costing my family a TON of money lately. Remember the ticket I got back in July?? That was $166. I am SO angry at myself!!!

Let me serve as a warning to you:

Do not touch your phone while you are in your car.
Do not race a yellow light.
Do not leave your car unlocked.

I'm going to try and get happy. But I'm feeling pretty low. This video of this beautiful boy is helping me.

Check it out:

What would your last meal be?

2011-11-03T15:17:00.000-07:00

Pedar and I used to play this little game called, "Ultimate Sandwich!"

We would share what bread, meat and toppings we thought would make the very best sandwich. The sandwich of our dreams! It was fun and it made me really hungry. I'm hungry right now. I wish I had all the fixings right now in the kitchen-at-work to make a super delicious sandwich. I've been trying not to eat a lot of bread lately. I'm trying to focus on eating more lean protein and vegetables. I'm doing OK. I realize how much bread-like products my kids eat. Goodness me!

Anyhoo. I'm hungry.

Did you know that my Mom showed me how yummy it is if you put Cool Whip on Raisin Bran? And I think that peanut butter, honey and raisins make a delicious sandwich.

I'm going to go grab a snack now. Hope you all are eating well today!

Happy Hump Day!

2011-11-02T14:15:00.000-07:00

I hope you are starting to feel like you are getting over the hump and sliding quickly towards Friday! I am feeling better now that I just got a text from Erik's sweet teacher, Kelley. She said he has only cried once or twice and is playing well and doing great!

She sent me this picture of him playing yesterday!

Right?

First day for Erik

2011-11-01T09:00:00.000-07:00

Today is Erik's first day at Village Montessori. My stomach is about to take flight from all the butterflies I have. I feel my eyes welling up and we haven't even left the house yet. I need to pull it together. I am nervous for him, but he will probably do much better than I expect.

I am filled with questions. Will he nap OK? Will he eat? Will he cry? Will he play and be happy?

I can't wait for this first week to be over. Here goes nothing.

Trick-or-Treat Time!

2011-10-31T10:19:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween! We got tricked on Saturday night. Our garage was robbed. So far we’ve noticed that Pedar’s road and mountain bikes and our laundry detergent/dryer sheets were stolen. I noticed the laundry detergent was missing first. I just realized they took a bucket too, that must be how they carried the detergent and dryer sheets away on the bike! They slipped the bucket handle over the handlebars.

Pedar's road bike! Sniff Sniff. This is one of the bikes that was stolen. Pedar's beautiful road bike that we bought him over 6 years ago for our 5th wedding anniversary.

Anyways, I don't want to dwell on this anymore. I want to wish you a Happy Halloween. I am going to pray for some good luck!! I need some!!

My handsome witch doctor!

My adorable dragon!

I loved this costume!!

Ms. Register, Casey's 1st grade teacher.

Goldilocks (Ms. Livermore) and the Three Bears (Ms. Stonebreaker, Mrs. Collins and Mrs. McClain)

Happy Halloween!!

Answer these 5 questions, please!

2011-10-28T11:11:00.000-07:00

I was interviewed recently by a colleague for a homework assignment. Here are my answers. How would you answer these questions?

1. What are your life-long dreams?
I dream of owning rental homes and traveling the world. I dream of writing a New York Times Best Seller. I dream of creating gorgeous gardens in my community and singing and dancing more. I dream of more free time with my family.

2. What kind of personality do you work best with and why?
I work best with compassionate and empathetic people that want the best for themselves and for others. I work best with people that see the big picture and want to work to create products that serve others. I feel like if even a tiny bit of my job helps others, than my job is worthwhile. We spend so much time at work; I want to help the people I work with reach their dreams and find their purpose. I believe my purpose is to help bring out the best in others and to love unconditionally.

3. Who has impacted you most in your career and how?
My Mom told me not to get married until I was done with college. It was some of the best advice I have ever received. I saw her struggle with raising kids and going back to college when I was young girl. She has always told me to find a job doing something that would inspire me and to work for people that I care about. You have to CARE about what you do and the people you work for. I believe if you don't care, life will be a struggle.

4. What is your greatest achievement outside of work?
My greatest achievement would have to be my relationships. I am lucky to be married for almost 11 years to a wonderful man. I am lucky to have two beautiful boys. I am lucky to have lasting friendships with colleagues and childhood friends. People are very important to me.

5. What three character traits would your friends use to describe you?
Funny, loving and supportive.

Happy Thursday!

2011-10-27T09:58:00.000-07:00

I went to the dentist this morning and half of my face is numb. I'm drinking my coffee with a straw. I have five meetings today. I'm a little done with meetings.

I'm sharing this picture of Pedar because I want to put it out there that I want to learn this skill. What balance! What grace! What a hunk my man is! Casey wants a longboard for Christmas. I want one too. We are going to learn together. How cool will that be!

Get out of my own way!

2011-10-26T11:08:00.000-07:00

This weekend the ladies and I kept using this phrase, "Yesterday you said today."

I'm going to FOCUS on GETTING what I want. What do you want? Go get it. No one is going to GET it for you. I hate this, but it is true.

Girls Weekend

2011-10-24T08:27:00.000-07:00

Jenna had to leave early so I didn't get enough pics of her!

This Friday a bunch of my fabulous girlfriends met in Tahoe to spend the weekend eating, drinking, talking and absorbing one another. We cried, laughed and danced. We are preparing to say goodbye to our dear friend Jen who is moving to Baltimore for a fabulous job, but selfishly I would like to sabotage her wonderful opportunity and keep her in Sacramento. But enough about that. There were two wonderful comments that were hatched during this weekend:

1. You got to know when to misbehave.-- Jen

2. If you want to get good at something, you just have to do it all the time. -- Mountain/Kayak/Beard dude

Moving the delicious pizza.

Time to BOO!

2011-10-20T22:30:00.000-07:00

Tonight we BOO-ed some folks in our neighborhood.

I bought some candy and cute decorations for three houses. We printed the BOO materials and stuffed them in the treat bags!

Erik was very excited about BOO-ing our neighborhood!

Casey decorated the BOO bags!

Casey and Erik helped me shop for the items and stuff the goody bags.

We had a blast. Pedar got home from the Mission Avenue PTA meeting and we ran all over our neighborhood dropping off treats. It was so much fun! Casey kept saying, "I hope we get BOO-ed too!" I had to keep reminding him that we were giving without expectations. We were BOO-ing because we LOVE knowing that our neighbors were going to smile when they found the treats on their doorstep. That had to be enough of a treat for us too. It was a hard sell on a six-year-old.

Yeah, we drove to the last two houses. It was late and dark, don't judge me. Isn't Erik's new squinty smile adorable? Casey looks like a cool dude in the back doesn't he? Like he's doing that chin raising cool guy thing. "Hey, how you doing?" I love my family!

Casey loved giving our BOO treats away!

Spread some magic around in your neighborhood! It is so much fun!

Bob and Lisa

2011-10-19T21:45:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago we celebrated our cousins Lisa and Bob at their surprise Birthday party in Old Sacramento. We had a blast.

Bob is married to Pedar's super fantastic cousin, Janet.

Erik loves Bob!

Bob and his sons: Jared and Kevin

Bob may be hard as steel on the outside, but I've found that he has a pretty soft center. We love you, Bob! We hope you have a terrific year.

Lisa was very surprised! It was great!

Pedar loves him some Lisa! He remembers her feathered hair very fondly. "Growing up she was like a movie star to me," said Pedar.

Beautiful Lisa is Pedar's cousin. She is married to the wonderful and hunky Jeff and they have two gorgeous and talented daughters, Lindsey and Megan. I fell in love with this precious family early on in my relationship with Pedar. I admire how they parent and how they love and support one another. I admire how they always make you feel wanted and loved. They really look forward to seeing us and spending time with us and that feels so good.

Aunt Dagny and Casey!

Erik prepares for the flash with this weird squint!

Sweet Lindsey, Gorgeous Lisa, Beautiful Megan and super Classy and Kind Aunt Lorraine!

No worries, these are fake smokes. Crazy picture, aye?!